Life...

Our society places great emphasis on individuality. We are encouraged to express our unique selves, and to pursue our personal aspirations and beliefs.

 

I believe that in most friendships or relationships each person desires this individuality for the other as well as for him or herself. They want to be true to who they are, and for the other person to recognize and accept them for those very qualities. Likewise, they want to know who the other person is, not a character they are good at portraying.

 

There is, however, a catch to being unique, to being open with another. In my experience there are times where being yourself is inconvenient. In certain situations it seems as though being who you are may hinder you from progressing with another person. This is especially true, but not limited to, relationships.

If you start off being someone else, how will they ever know you?

I, unfortunately, came to this realization after the chance to make any changes had passed. On the one hand you helplessly wish to go back in time and stop yourself from pretending. You are able to replay moments and ask yourself, "What was I thinking?" But there is also the part of you that wracks your brain trying to think if even for one instance, you were yourself with that person. And, if so, was it enough? Would circumstances have been different had you remained true to your character?

 

I, personally, would love to say no. It would be comforting to tell myself that nothing could have changed the outcome. But I cannot answer with certainty, because how could I know?

 

Compromising your identity is degrading to yourself as well as the other person. By not being yourself you are assuming you know already that he or she would not accept you for who you are. There are two details very wrong with this logic. One, you should not surround yourself with people who do not care about you because of who you are. You should never feel uncomfortable being yourself around someone. Also, since you are not in fact the other person, you really have no means of determining who they would and would not like, nor should you be the judge of it.