What is friendship?

I've been spending some amount of time trying to explain to myself what a friend is, and is not. 

Friendship is the bigger statement. Lots of people are lovers but aren't friends. Lots of people are relatives and aren't friends. Lots of people work together who aren't friends. You can appreciate or admire someone, but that doesn't make them a friend. 

We're relatively casual about the word, but sometimes things happen that take the casualness out of it. When I had my half-way across the country move I had a lot of time to think about what makes someone a friend. If they are scared of you when you need help, sorry, that's not friendship. If their attitude is "for better or worse," if they stick by you through thick and thin, that's when you can tell it's friendship. I do have some friends, but not as many as I thought.

Looking back at past relationships I have had in my life, I can honestly say I may have good handful of AMAZING friends from college. I am working on taking every advantage of ervery moment I have with these friends. Whether it is a vacation in Cancun, surprising a friend at their wedding, attending another wedding. Whatever it is I miss them and am making memories of our time together. It is great!

We never really know how long they will be here or what. But on that same note spending too much time can kick you back in the butt. As time goes on it seems that the more you see one person the more you realize you are not friends and how you wish you could go back to how things were weeks, months, or even years ago. Those are the times we truly treasure, and I wish I could go back in time with some friends to hope that things would be different now.

To all of my friends; old, present, and new: You all have been a great influence on my life and I am grateful to you for that. Thank you for being you and allowing me to be me.

The Rear-View Mirror

Do you ever catch yourself looking back, as if looking through your rear-view mirror?

There is an obvious reason why the windshield is far bigger than the rear view mirror. It's because that is where you'd better be looking when you intend to get somewhere safely.

Nevertheless, many people conduct their life constantly looking back. The outcome is inevitable: several wrecks along the way.

Sad events and traumatic experiences in our lives have the dangerous power of sucking us down into a life of constant defeat and hopelessness. They pull us down in a manner that will significantly affect the outcome of the rest of our lives. If we let them.

It depends on us whether we yield to them or not.

Lift up your eyes and look before you. Picture your life as a path made of cement. The cement behind you is already hardened; you cannot change a thing about it. But turn around and look up in front of you: there is a long stretch of fresh cement you do have influence upon.

Yes, you can make changes in life. And the best time to start is right now. There are changes that I am making and I will stand by the changes I am making.

But how can we possibly ignore, or forget, experiences that have painfully marked our lives? Don't they seem to be constantly lurking in the background, only to show up and discourage us when we are about to make a step forward? Yes they are there, but only if you let them will they hold you back. I have done some things in my past, that I would change if I could, but I can't. They make me who I am and make me have so much compassion for others. I have not always been a good person, but I know that God loves me and forgives me. He will always love me for who I am and not things that I have done. It is things like that, that need to sustain me when I feel the urgency to dwell in the past and keep looking back. I am looking forward in 2009; I will try not to dwell on the past.

A Contradiction Poem...

Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

I'll tell you an old story that you've never heard before.

One summers day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other.

They pulled out knives and shot each other

The deaf policeman heard the noise,

And got up to arrest the two dead boys.

If you do not believe the story's true,

Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Yes I am a science nerd...

So as most of you reading this know, I am a complete science nerd and I am OK with that. I came across this video and it totally put a smile on my face, and I knew I would have to share it with all of you. So here it is, Merry Christmas from me to you.

One Friends Adventures = My personal growth in my faith

Chad, a friend of mine studied abroad in Israel in college and I am in the process of reading his blog from the time he was there till a post he made a couple days ago. It was a GREAT start. One of my favorite posts as of now is:

Grey Matter
Please keep this allegory in mind when you read about what I am learning, hearing, and thinking about here in Israel. Some things I talk about or present could be a little different than what you have been taught growing up or might slightly differ from some of your own beleifs. Keep in mind though that our God is a mystery and when we think we have Him or His Word all figured out then we've turned Him into something smaller than ourselves. I have been asking a lot of questions about my faith, life, and myself. I encourage you too to ask questions, for I truly beleive that the unexamined beleif is not worth beleiving. 

"And this is why questions are so central to faith. A question by its very nature acknowledges that the person asking the question does not have all the answers. And because the person does not have all of the answers, they are looking outside of themselves for guidance. Questions, no matter how shocking or blasphemous or arrogant or ignorant or raw, are rooted in humility. A humility that understands that I am not God. And there is more to know." -Rob Bell Velvet Elvis

This is so HUGE TO ME!!! 

Sometimes I question the very existence of God, if there is such a thing as Heaven or Hell, why this or why that? And then after questioning so much (which by the way questioning sometimes comes after bad things have happened in your day, life or just too often) a small miracle happens; either the birth of a healthy child, or the sight of an amazing flower bloomed, a sunset, our own breathing and beating of our hearts; all of those little things puts you in perspective. You are once again channeled in reality, your feet are on the ground and you Thank God you are touching the soil, or feeling the breeze, or feeling the warmth of loved ones, and those are the moments I need to hold onto. 

Recently I have seen a change in some of my personal spiritual practices, that I was not doing say 2 weeks ago, and I am so pumped and excited because I think I am going to be able to keep with it all, especially with the help of some wise people in my life. But reading Chad's post made me realize that it is OK to question my faith. If I think I know it all or do not have any questions about it, then I have gotten complacent. I do not want to be complacent in my faith, and if I am going to ask these questions then I need to be actively looking to my Lord for the answers, through prayer, through friend's wisdom, through his word. What ever the method is, if I am going to ask the question I have to want to know the answer. And right now I do.

Hurricane Party...

Has anyone ever heard of a hurricane party? I grew up in south Texas where hurricanes are a normal part of your summer and fall semester, but never have I heard of a hurricane party. I have heard of having a party and a hurricane hitting during the party, but never one before it hits. Hurricane Dolly is on the southern coast of Texas about to his South Padre Island and then my hometown of Brownsville where my parents and family are. I just talked to my parents and they are partying. Here I am at home, wishing I was home to be with my family during this. They are never easy, even though not much damage will be done by Dolly, it is still a time you wish you were with your family. If I was there, I would be partying, freaking out, but partying.

We will see how it looks tomorrow there, when it starts to get really bad and the eye of the hurricane progresses over my home. Ill keep you posted. :)

Trusting God or my Emotions?

Have you ever become a victim to your emotions? I have. Many times our circumstances stir our emotions and we respond inappropriately. While our emotions toward our situation are not entirely wrong; they are just not entirely reliable. But God is.

Adversity, trials, and sufferings are God's greatest tools for growing us spiritually. However, our emotions can tell us otherwise, making it hard to trust God for a good outcome. I think the reason it may be hard to rely on God in hardships is because we forget who our God is. We are focused on what our eyes can see instead of the unseen hand of God at work in our lives.

God only eliminates the things in my life that don't "look" like Him. If there is a characteristic in my life that needs to be put to death, I can trust God will do it and I'll be better off without it. While my mind may acknowledge this truth, my emotions need God's grace in order to trust Him in the process.

God's grace is always sufficient. He is enough for whatever I face. Recalling God's faithfulness in my past helps me trust Him in the present. Like David, Habakkuk and many others, I stir my faith in God by remembering those past victories. David was able to face and slay the giant because he remembered God's faithfulness in his past battles. Habakkuk, as he prayed about his situation, remembered God's history with the Israelite children and how He brought them triumph. Remembering our past victories reminds us of just how big and able our God is, and rescues us from any doubt in our present situation. It offers strength, hope, and the faith we need to endure.

In our human nature, we fear. But as children of God, we must remember how the righteous live. They live by faith. So I'm learning to say in my circumstances, "God, this is not what I want. It's not what I planned for my life, but though you slay me I'm choosing to trust you."

Instead of trusting my feelings, I'm choosing to trust my God. He is enough both now and always for whatever comes my way. While my emotions my trip me up from time to time, still, I will trust Him. Why--because if something needs slaying in my life, I'm better off without it and God is just the one to make the change a success.